Wednesday, March 20, 2024

The Art of the Dating Double Standard

 I mentioned in an earlier post from this month that I was going to make a point to be more personal on here… I thought ‘the art of the dating double standard’ would be a relatable topic to share… I think it is fair to say that dating at any age is challenging in its own way…  just add the element of online dating and that factor really takes dating and everything that comes with it to the next level.

Like every person looking for their happy ending, of course I am on a dating app… I have honestly met some really nice people, and if you are single and on the fence about joining one, I definitely recommend; it’s just one more way to put yourself out there and meet people (be sure to always exercise caution and keep your safety in mind). However, like every social situation in life, you are bound to come across a few interesting characters….

About a month ago I was messaging with a guy through a dating app, and he exemplified pretty much every dating double standard in existence. For most, if not all my apps, I have opted to have the notifications tuned off, dating apps included, because I don’t want my phone pinging all the time. At best I check my dating app every few hours… On this particular day when I checked my messages one guy accused me of ghosting him, after a five hour wait - keep in mind that he was not responding right away… Then he went on a tangent about the amount of “gold diggers”, women who are prejudice against a certain height, and of course the number of “crazy” women…

If a woman questioned a man about not responding after a few hours she would be considered ‘needy’… If a man doesn’t want to go out with a woman because of her height/weight/hair color/etc. she is simply not his type… If a man is looking for a woman with a meaningful income, he is just looking for a partner. Then there are some men who would love to have a woman support them, because it’s a modern day and age, but they aren’t considered ‘gold diggers’, just modern-day men. If a man has a bad moment, he isn’t perceived as crazy, just someone who either had a bad day or is under a lot of pressure… 

To each their own, but I very much like playing the role of a woman and being pursued and wooed, but it struck me as so odd during this conversation that all these dating double standards still exist… women have a type, some want to work, some want to stay at home, everyone has different attachment styles, and women have bad days too… So, why is one gender allowed to fault the other gender for the exact same thing they are doing, just because it’s packaged differently? 

I will say that there are some very emotionally intelligent and empathic guys out there, but there are those who do embrace the double standards of the dating world…

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