Friday, June 7, 2024

Searching For...

Recently I have seen all over Instagram, TikTok, and the internet in general that if you are searching for the right person or even just someone to date, that if write down exactly what you are searching for, you and the person you are looking for will somehow find your way to each other in the next few days, weeks, or months. I honestly think there is something to karma and the universe working in your favor if you consciously send certain thoughts out into the void. Maybe this is a trend and an algorithm is picking it up or maybe it’s a sign…the hopeless romantic in me is going to choose to believe it’s a sign. 

I’m trying to make an effort to share more personal things like this on the blog, because honestly, I feel really alone and slightly behind sometimes, and if I can make someone else feel slightly less alone in their journey or slightly less behind then being a little more personal is worth it. 

In full transparency, the past few years have been really hard… going through a broken engagement and suffering a couple loses in my family… I feel like my heart has been through a lot in a short amount of time. As a side note, if you’re on the flip side, remember that it is always easy to say what you would have done when you’re not the one in the position and when you have all the facts.  

It’s a weird experience going through a broken engagement and other negative life events… People love to tell you what they would do, or that they would have seen through something, or how they would feel…  One thing I’m convinced of is that no one has life 100% figured out, and sometimes the best thing to do is listening, be supportive, and leave room for grace. 

Maybe it’s simply because I live in the South, but for a while, a few seemed to lay the blame at my feet for the engagement ending, I the one who broke it off, but some even expressed that I had made a mistake… and when the news came out that he had a child that was obviously conceived while I was with him, I had a few people tell me that basically I didn’t keep him on a tight enough leash… After the breakup I found out he had cheated on two other women in his past relationships, so I definitely don’t think it was my fault. And for anyone who needs to hear it that’s in a similar situation, you know the whole story, and it really is not your fault. Maybe I’m being na├»ve, but I wouldn’t/don't want to be with someone I have to put on a “leash” or worry about their whereabouts; I want someone who is so completely in love and crazy about me that they would never dream about doing such a thing. 

I saw a quote the other day, “To be lost is a state of mind; to be found is a journey of the heart”. I think there is some truth in that. I’ve met one person since my ex that made me feel found and appreciated, and I really wanted things to work out and really thought they would… But I am so ready to find the person who is going to end my search and who makes me feel found.

This is going to sound simplistic, but the main things I am looking for in someone, is kindness, understanding, willing to compromise when appropriate, even tempered, great communicator, honest, someone who I have a natural connection with, family oriented, and has a family who acts nice. 

I’d also really like to end up with someone who enjoys going to museums, galleries, shows, plays, etc. Almost everyone I have dated has taken me to a museum very early on in the relationship, once, and then never again… I understand that it’s not some people’s cup of tea… I have a sister who is allergic to type of thing, which is fine, but even when I go on family vacations we bypass those activities because not everyone enjoys them… so I would really like to end up with someone who at least likes to do those type of things…

I have always been attracted to people who are intelligent, easy to be around, and have an ongoing curiosity about different things. I love Nashville, but I would also love to live somewhere else eventually, more specifically, somewhere in the northeast… I’m just ready for a lot of change and a new adventure, all the way around, but honestly, not a deal breaker. 

This probably sounds like a given, but I’d like to be with someone who is supportive, forgiving, makes me/the relationship a priority, values me, thinks about my needs… I want a great love story with someone who is completely crazy about me (in a healthy way), really loves me, and vice versa. I want someone who likes to hold hands, express affection, doesn’t shy away when tears are involved or emotions are running high, someone I can laugh with, someone who can be a best friend, someone to pull me close when I’m upset, someone who is going to step up to the plate. Someone I can be myself with. 

I want someone who feels like home. 

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